Where to begin? So much has happened and I have not had a moment to catch my breath! I graduated, got married, and am learning to be a homemaker while simultaneously looking for a job. It hasn't been the way I thought it would be, this whole marriage thing, but I like it! Love it in fact. It is completely natural in every way. I have not had a hard time transitioning into being married, or even living with another person. Rather, adjusting to this new life style has been the most difficult thing. Finding my place as a wife as well as a home-owner (well, kind of a home-owner). Paying bills, searching for recipes that I can make for my husband so we can avoid eating out (we are so sick of eating out!), trying to find a time that we can actually cook and not have dinner at 10 o'clock when Nick gets home on his late night shifts, actually sitting down in the few moments throughout the day that we actually have time to see each other and making a budget, spending much needed time together, figuring out how much time we should be together and away from each other, ect...................
Although it is an adjustment, I can feel life slowly starting to fall into place. It feels a bit like stretching out after taking a nap curled up on a small couch. I am starting to see once again how God is carefully orchestrating our needs. I was worried after first coming home after being married that I would not know whether to settle into a wife/homemaker role or a wife/money-earning role. I went through four interviews with one company while preparing to get married and even right after our honeymoon. They choose not to hire me for whatever reason and went with someone else. I was a little sad, but I was comforted that a company like that would go so far as to offer a newly graduated, newly wed girl the full interview process. I know that for that to have happened and me not be offered the job, God must have a wonderful job waiting for me, if I am to go to work. I can see how having a salaried job would have been a grand thing as a newly wed, but I can also see how it would have been a hindrance to the growth and development of our new life. After that incident, I basically decided to take it easy and wait on God to time things just as they need to be. Yeah, we are a little tight on cash, but we have been saving up the last few months for a reason. I know that we have family that would come to our rescue, in the event that we just couldn't pull off paying all the bills for a month (just a side note, this would only be in emergencies. I hate asking for money, and would never take without giving back in whatever way I could). I am not worried about not being taken care of, I like that Nick is currently our sole provider (which is still an adjustment for me), and I am comfortable settling into our new life.
I am seeing pretty quickly why people say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I always thought that was referring just to getting used to being married. For me, that isn't really the way it is. Nick and I have been together long enough, that marriage was just the next step and that was the easy part. The most difficult part (so far) is just settling in and finding my place and getting into a routine of life. Perhaps that is marriage, but I think it is mostly just life. Then again, I guess marriage is life.
