There has been an ongoing conversation in our house about choosing to be happy and doing things that make ourselves happy. It isn't selfish to want to do things and have things you enjoy. There is a limit of course, but allowing yourself to have the desires of your heart are not bad (well, I guess that depends on what you desire) and it is not an act of humility to not allow yourself to have the things you desire. If you want to be happy, do things that make you happy! And since I am talking about happiness, I guess I should define it. Happiness is different than joy. I believe that God is Joy as He is Love. God is not happiness. I define happiness as earthly pleasures and desires. For me those things are riding horses, reading a good book, going somewhere fun, living somewhere I like, etc. Joy is something given only by God, and is much deeper than happiness.
When we were living in Tulsa, I felt like all my happiness was stripped away. That wasn't true of course, and I could have accessed many of those things if I had merely motivated myself to do them. I could have been much happier if I had allowed myself to be. I guess in a way not allowing myself to do the things I enjoyed was a bit selfish. I didn't think I had access to the things I wanted, so I believed I was unable to have them. Thus, I made myself depressed and made the people around me sad because I was not happy (there is that word again!) with who I was and how my life was going.
About this time last year, I wrote a post about how N and I really wanted to move to NWA. It was where we really wanted to be...and now we are here! We made the decision to do what made us happy, and that combined with feeling like God really wanted us here made it possible. So here is my encouragement to you, whatever it is that you want that you think will make you truly happy (and I am not talking about going and buying a bunch of things you want), experiences and things you want to do, go do them! If that means saving up money to go to RK3DE (oh, that's just me), losing weight, moving, painting your house, finding a job you like...these things are not out of your reach! It may mean you have to work for them, or wait awhile, but you shouldn't give up on those things. Time is going to pass anyway, you might as well spend it working towards something that brings you happiness!
I hope that was not confusing...just my thoughts rambling!
