Life is fantastic. And weird. As usual, every time I start making plans God says, "Nope! Not yet!" and gives us something else to think about. For awhile, we (myself especially) were pretty gung-ho about getting a house. I was positive that everything would go a certain way and that was that. I began to realize during the whole process that I was trying way to hard to control my own situation. I felt like no one was on my side, even though they were really trying to help. I was very discouraged. After things kept falling through with houses, I began to step back and reevaluate the situation I was putting myself it. I had this perfect plan, but nothing was going my way. The real estate, the jobs, everything was falling through. I was fortunate to realize pretty early on that I was tugging my own reins too tight. After having a bit of a breakdown, I was able to use hindsight to find that I was out of control and the choices I was trying to make were not the right ones. It was soon after this that God washed away my worries. I was going to be taken care of. Things were under control, but not mine.
Since then, Nick and I have been going wherever we feel like God wants us to be for now. We are not rushing to get to Arkansas, though we know that is where we will be soon. We are now out of our apartment and will turn in our keys tomorrow. I never thought that I would move in with family after getting married, but now we are taking up residence for the time being with my brother in a much quieter part of town. After all the paper work is done tomorrow I know there will be a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and we will no longer be attached to Tulsa. Something that Nick brought up a few days ago was that God seems to be leading us to help people that have helped us during this time in between our adventures. We have been put in several situations where, if Nick and I had not been there to help, things would not have gone well. One example is that my parent's water heater started leaking. If we had not been up late with my mom, we never would have noticed the wet carpet. When my dad went to check on the water heater, the valve busted and there was a river in the garage. My parents garage is very full at the moment with things they are going through and getting rid of. Had Nick and I not been there, the damage would have been much greater.
A few weeks ago, I had an interview for what I thought was the perfect job. I had an underlying feeling that though it was a great opportunity, that God was going to throw me a curve ball and not let me have it. He did just that and though I was a bit sad, I was able to pick myself up and move on and most importantly, be confident that I was working under God's will alone. "He must have a really fantastic plan," I thought, "If this job is not the right one." Being able to have that confidence is really comforting. He has always followed through for me, why would He stop now? I now am in the waiting period to hear back about another job opportunity. Even though God keeps leading us in a maze, I know that He is still walking ahead of us and will show us the way. Every thing will work out how it should, even if it is not the way I planned it.
But for now, while moving or whatever is on hiatus, this will be in the forefront of my mind:
“The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead.”
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley
P.S. #10 on my resolutions list is well on its way to completion!
