I repent for my absence. Life has been crazy. Not for any reason other than the flow of our lives leaves us with little down time during the day. I like my job, N puts up with his, and that is that. The problem is that on a regular basis, I may work from 8-4 (which is great), but N works from 4-9. So, by the time we see each other, we are pooped. This probably wouldn't be too big of a deal, but while I have a perfect schedule and get the weekends off, N works every weekend because he takes 2 days off during the week to do an internship out of town (state, actually). So all in all, we have very little quality time to spend together. And to top it all off, when we do have time we just want to zone out and let our brains re-format.
Enough with excuses, I have more interesting things to say. Believe it or not.
As I mentioned earlier, N goes out of town just about every week to do an internship. He happens to go to one of our favorite places on this earth. NW Arkansas. Despite being a very devote Okie and living there my entire life, NWA feels like home. Perhaps that is due to starting my adult life there. Maybe because it has more trees and bigger hills. I don't really know why, but I have a few good guesses.
Every now and then, my schedule allows me to go with the man to AR and hang out at the office. Every single time we get ready to start the 2 hour drive home, I feel my heart sink a little. A week or 2 ago, N told me he felt the same way. We talked about it and pretty quickly decided that feeling that way about going home was not how it should be, and we needed to seriously consider moving.
Well, moving is a great idea, until you realize that you need to have a job in order to move. We are doing fine in the way of money right now. We don't have a lot of fancy things, but we do not lack anything. We live in a small, but nice apartment (no matter how much we complain). And we have jobs that are steady and pay pretty reasonably. The problem is that if we pick up an move, we will not have a job at all. My husband could most likely transfer to another store without any problems, but he has his sights set on getting a job at his current internship. He is trying not to count his chickens before they hatch and get his hopes up too high, but I know that if he was not able to continue, he would be really, extremely disappointed. He loves every minute he spends there. Aside from that, if he was to transfer to another store in the area we want to move, if he does end up getting a position at his internship, he will have to quit his current position right after starting at a new store. Since he is such a good guy, he would not like doing that.
We could live on just him working for a little while. Things would be tight, but we have done it before without much of a problem. I would find a job as soon as I could and everything would be just dandy.
There is however, another side to this story. If things go well, and N gets the job he wants, and I find a place to work, we want to get out of apartment living. I don't really mind it too much, since I lived in a dorm for several years. But I have dreams. I came across a small fixer-up home just outside of town. It has a couple of acres of land. Just enough to someday house horses. Enough room to build a barn someday, and enough room for kids to run. It is in a nice area, nice homes surrounding it. A good price tag is attached, and with the amount of work I imagine it needs and how long it has been on the market, I might be able to bring it lower. All in all, it sounds like a great deal. We want to go look at it pretty soon.
On the flip side, I am nervous about buying a home. I have weighed the pros and cons and honestly I feel like the pros outweigh the cons. But, locking myself in an area so soon in our marriage seems risky. Not to mention I have never done a home remodel before. I know there are a lot of things I can do to make it better, for a reasonable price, but the task is a little daunting. I keep asking questions like, what if there is a better place? What if we get there and our work is cut out for us? Is this the right thing to do? Will be be able to handle it financially with our new jobs (which we don't have)? It is a big risk, but I keep coming back to it.
But while I hesitate, I always come back. To the little blue house on the corner.
