Nearly-Grad

Well, I am proud to say that we are over half way into my last semester. Unlike my last post when we were half way through last semester. Time has flown, friends!

A lot has happened and I have no idea where to start....

Ok. First thing, one of the things I am most excited about. We have an apartment! We are really excited about it (or, at least I am). The apartment complex is so great. Modern, 3 swimming pools, and they have wood floors + black appliances, and they are somehow affordable. The people in the office are very helpful and I can't wait to move in! I'll be be moving in the day before graduation (eep), which will actually work out great because I will be able to bring a load of stuff down before I have to officially move out.

God has really blessed us. I have been stressed about the whole living situation. I like to have a game plan for the future, and when I don't I freak out a little. I have been trying so hard to trust that God has everything in control, but it has been really hard. I know that He does have a plan and I think He knew I really needed the affirmation that He was still in control and watching out for me. He is so good. It is a lot easier to say that when I have that affirmation, but it is really important that I remember His goodness and power no matter what my circumstance.

Leading off of that, some of you know that I mentor at a ranch close to campus. We have been talking about perseverance this semester. I did the same lesson with a younger group of kids I think a few semesters ago, but it is really impacting me in a new way. Yesterday we talked about the different ways that God calls us to persevere. Things that I know I need to work on. My mentee and I talked about how Jesus is the only way into heaven. She asked me if it counted that she went to church. I explained to her that no matter what you do, the only way that you can get into heaven is by being a follower of Jesus (and what that means) and believing in him. She promptly said that she believed in Jesus after I told her that going to church wasn't going to get her into heaven. ;)
It was really special for me to get to share that with her, and I even though I may not see the results of me sewing seeds, I know that God is feeding her soul. She also chose to close in prayer for the first time (after me explaining why we pray) after our one-on-one talk time was over instead of me. It made me really happy and I am sure God was happy to hear from her as well.

To transition a bit, the things I know you all want to hear...wedding plans! I occasionally post things on my wedding blog. I don't post a ton, but I do go into some detail about certain things. 
I get asked alllllll the time about how wedding planning is going and if I am stressed. The general answer is "It is going well" and "not really." I don't mind talking about how the wedding is going. I tend to talk a lot when people ask me how I am doing. I try to make sure and remember to ask people how they are doing since I talk a lot...I am working at that. Anyway, I really enjoy talking about my wedding. After all, it only happens once!

I am working on getting invitations ready to send out. We have a few more people on the guest list than I was anticipating, but that is ok since the list is still pretty small (under 150). We are thinking that the actual attendance probably won't be any more than about 75 though, if that. We are thinking between 50-75, so it will be a smaller wedding which is what we were hoping for. Not that we don't want to celebrate with everyone, but we actually don't have that many close friends. We want our wedding to be fun, and casual. We are so looking forward to it!

I have my dress and am going to work on the veil in the next few weeks I think. We are getting married in 79 days and I am ecstatic! Time is a really odd thing. I never thought that I would get married right out of college. My parents didn't get married until they were about 30, so as a friend told me, I am "just a baby" in comparison to them. I don't have any problem getting married right out of college (obviously) but it is not what I pictured. I figured I would be a business woman or something and get married sometime in my mid to late 20s after becoming a speaker at youth conferences. I wasn't even planning to date again until I was at least a JR in college. Silly me. I guess God had different plans than I did. That seems to be a reoccurring thing....

College has definitely not been what I thought it would be. In some ways it has been better, in other ways not as good perhaps. I guess I didn't really know what to expect at college, so it is hard to say. One of the things I have written about in past posts is my relationships with other people, or rather, the lack of them. I thought that was a bad thing for a long time, but in hindsight, I believe it has really made me value the friendships I have now a lot more than I would have if I had had close friends with me all the way through. I have learned so much about life and God and myself, more than I thought I ever could in just one semester. School is tough and really busy, but right now my life is beautiful, even with all of my downfalls. I have beautiful friends on the inside and out, I have an amazing fiance that loves me like crazy and takes care of me so well. I have supportive parents, my first ever apartment is in a fantastic location and not run down like many of the other apartments we looked at (it is even a gated community...hello!). My future parents-in-law are great and made me feel like one of the family even before I started dating their son 3 years ago. Most importantly, I have a relationship with the one true God, who always takes care of me and loves me even when I have a hard time trusting Him, or do something stupid.

I know that there will be even more struggles than there are now, but I look forward to taking them on with my best friend and incredible (soon-to-be) husband.

Keep being awesome.

P.S. I forgot to mention, I gave up facebook for Lent. However, all that time is now spent on Pinterest. While perhaps it is not the most productive thing to being doing, at least it is more productive than looking at the same news feed for hours! Right?

Check-Up

We are half way through the semester. Yay!
I am going to rewind a bit, and look at how well I have been meeting the goals that I set for myself before the semester started (you can read the full blog here). Let's see how I am doing:

1. Be involved in the house
Things are going pretty well here. I am not always cooped up in my room, and if I am in my room Cher is around to share company with. We have bedtime stories with "Grandma Callie" a few times a week, and we do house dinners on Sunday's (which I have not been to yet because I am always gone on Sunday nights). I enjoy the community of girls and hope to become better friends with them as the year progresses. 


2. Join a Passion/Bible study group
This has sort of happens in a few ways. My house has been hosting a bible study over Luke every Wednesday. I was only able to make it once. My darkroom lab always goes overtime and so I am never able to make it. Last week I could have gone, but I forgot about it and went shopping instead, but I listened in a little.


The other way I have been involved is through CAUSE. We have a small group that meets a few times a week. And though we don't do a "Bible Study" per se, we have been able to have very good, meaningful conversations - similar to what I had in my passion group. This has been very valuable for me. 


I have found that I am starting to be a little more mentally involved in my Evangelical Theology class, which has been good for me. We just wrote a paper on a book called "Knowledge of the Holy" which I found very interesting, even though I only had time to skim it. I would like to go back and look at it again someday. I am  gathering information and sources for a bigger research paper, and am actually looking forward to writing it (a little). The topic I chose is women's ordination and the conflict of that in the Christian church. To make it a bit easier to understand, here is my current thesis: 

"Women are not widely accepted as leaders in all denominations of the Christian Church. An analysis will reveal the     arguments for and against female pastors, and how the conflict ensued, developed, and has been established as a common view in today's church."

While I don't know if I would say I am succeeding in my original goal, I do think that I am headed in a good direction.

3. Have regular friend dates

One great thing about living in a house is that I get to see friends all the time! My roommate and I go on "roommate bonding date/outings" on a regular basis, which has been great! There are a few other people that I have met up with for dinner and coffee, but it has gotten harder as things have become busier. I hope that I can continue to be more and more persistent and consistent in meeting with friends. They are so wonderful, and I don't want to waste the time we have together. 

4. Build new friendships

This has certainly happened. Being a part of CAUSE has really helped with this because I am able to meet with people I met at the beginning of the year on a fairly regular basis. I am so glad for this. Also, I have made and effort to be a bit more social with people in my classes. There are so many people I know in the art department that I haven't really sat down and had a good conversion with. This year, since I have had labs, casual conversation is much more common for me than in the past. 

5. Seek first His kingdom

Last, but certainty most important, my relationship with God. It has been a challenge, but I have been trying very hard to rebuild my relationship with Him. I have always taken advantage of the fact that He is always there and will always keep up "His end of the bargain" if you will (but I don't think that is the best phrase that could be used here).

There was a time not so long ago that I was so sick of "Christians" and there shallow talk about God that it left a bitter taste my my mouth. I never had anything against God personally. The thing about not abiding with God, is every time you hear His name it reverberates in your head. It is almost a cause of jealousy. Of course, I never would have seen that in the midst of this time, but my utter disgust and frustration was probably a result of my deep longing to abide. And since I didn't know how to get there, that taste wouldn't go away. Learning to abide with God takes effort. I am still working on that part, but you cannot be in close relation with Him if you never seek Him. Pursuing Him is the key, but the funny thing about pursuing God is that he never really leaves- we have to move ourselves closer to Him. 

The long and short of it is, yes I am seeking His kingdom. Seeking Him first? I am still working on making it a priority. I want to, but still learning how. I have a feeling it will be something that I have to work on for my entire life.

It has begun...

Woah......I am a slacker! Actually, I am just busy. Except not really. I have been in school for about 3 weeks. It seems like it should be more than that...I feel as though I have been here forever. It is strange how you can just pick up right where you left off...I am sitting at Pours Jon's doing some tea with myself. I really wanted some yummy Asian fried rice, but Thai City was closed! So I had some teriyaki chicken from subway...which was good.
So about life. What has been going on the last few weeks?
I moved in with no problem and had all of my stuff in one car. Amazing, huh? Because I am. In reality, I just didn't bring very much. I am really glad I brought as little as I did because my room is much smaller than my room in Mayfield. Maybe it isn't that much smaller, but I am sharing it....I still think it is smaller though.

My roommate is awesome. Neither of us have had a roommate in awhile, so we adapted to each other pretty well. We basically have our own space and do our own thing, but we do have many bonding moments throughout the week, even if we don't see each other much during the day. To sum up how awesome she is, she made bread last night.

Things have been going well in the house. We all got together a few days after we moved in and organized the kitchen. That has worked out really well and has made cleaning up a lot less stressful. So actually, we have a very clean house in comparison to most of them. Some of the girls did some crazy awesome decorating, so our living room is very homey! I do love our house a lot. Plus the people are awesome too =)

I haven't been terribly busy homework wise. Some days I don't have any at all. Other days...I have a lot! In fact, sometime I should probably start reading for evangelical theology...

Right Lead and Right quest started today! It has been crazy trying to get everyone in, but my job is almost over and I can stop sending out a thousand emails a day!

We had a cookout at Nick's sister/Bro-in-laws house yesterday, which was super yummy. Nick and I scouted for wedding locations out there and he got ticks all over him. I was saved though, because he carried me. Such a nice boy =)

Other than that, not much has happened. As I said previously, I feel like I have been here a lot longer than I have been... So for now, ciao.

Check it out

luckypinwheel.blogspot.com

Delighting in Life

I love JBU. Love it. It is my second home and I have no idea how I am going to handle not returning next fall. I'll be glad to be done with school to be sure, but that place, those people, everything about it I love. The last two years have been rough and I have not been very involved with things going on at school. I have missed out on a lot of wonderful things. So this fall, when I move in for the final time, I am going to embrace everything I can. Here are some things that I am going to push myself to do:

1. Be involved in the house

I am moving into a townhouse with 7 lovely girls in 1 month and 4 days! I will be moving in a little early for CAUSE training, so I don't know how many of them will actually be there yet. I am really, really, really looking forward to living in a townhouse. I want to be as involved as I can (while still visiting Nick). I want to get to know all of the girls and become good friends with them. I look forward to making meals, watching movies, chatting, stressing, and everything else right there with them.

2. Join a passion/bible study group

I met some wonderful people in my passion group my first year. Unfortunately we were not able to continue it and I have not been able to find a group since. Going to passion group was really important to me my freshman year, and I miss having that time to just chat and think. I think that if I had been more actively involved with such a group during the last 2 year, I would have been much better off.

3. Have regular friend dates

I am not super close to a lot of people, but there are a few girls that I really want to continue to have close relationships with. They are so wonderful and I want to take as much time as I can to be with them, even if we are just studying. I want to visit their houses/dorms, have them come to mine, have coffee/tea with them, have deep conversations, and laugh a lot.

4. Build new friendships

I am quickly learning that college friendships really can last a lifetime and will be some of the most important people in your life. I want to meet new people and get to know them well. I want to value the people I meet fully, and not be so shy and reclusive.

5. Seek first His kingdom

My beautiful, wonderful heavenly father is so forgiving, and so loving. Even though I have been putting other things before Him over the last 2-3 years, I want that to stop. I want to be back where I was, no, even closer than I was when I first came to JBU. I want seek Him first over all. Before my friends, before school work, before my hobbies, before my family, and even before Nick. I want Him to be first and foremost in my life. I found an old blog that I wrote in the summer before I went to college you can read it here.

This is a poem that I wrote 3 years ago. I'll let you guess who it is about.

In Love

I love to run with you in the field,
the one with soft, green grass and wild flowers.

I love to hear you laughing,
as we splash each other in the crystal clear creek.

I love to lean up against you,
and feel the sun's warm kisses on my face.

I love to see the cascade behind you,
an allegory of your roaring elegance.

I love to see you smile at me,
oh how I love to know you love me.

Cleaning House: Preparing for the Next Stage

I have lived in the same house for over 18 years. I have moved out and back in 3 times in the past 3 years (3 times out, 3 times back in). My room is no larger that 9'x9'. I have 21 years of stuff in it. Not only stuff, but a full size bed, a large dresser and mirror, and a book shelf. I have whatever space is left under my bed, in my very small closet, and the middle of the floor to store over 20 years worth of toys, school papers, clothes, and other random junk I have acquired over the years. At the beginning of the summer and during breaks I spent a lot of time sorting things out, throwing away, and getting rid of stuff. My room has substantially less junk in it, however, there doesn't seem to be much more space. How all of those things fit into my small room is something of a miracle.

I am graduating university in less than a year. I will be officially moving out of my parents house, getting married, and I do not plan to move back in. I am not going to leave all of my stuff at my parents house, they have enough stuff of their own that they are trying to get rid of. I definitely do not want to bring all of my junk with me when I am trying to start a whole new life. So, that means I have to get rid of stuff. As I said previously, I have made a lot of progress. I am not free of my belongings yet, but I am getting there. So here are my tips to you, from someone who has been there for how to get rid of your stuff, when you have limited space and limited time.

If you are a college student, or are soon to be one, it is time to start cleaning house. Anyone can use these methods of course, but since I am still in that stage of life, this blog is directed to those getting ready to jump into it.

There are many ways to organize and clean house, but for me, who has limited space and time, this is how I have done things, and have found it to be effective.

Getting Started

Tip No. 1: Forget about having a yard sale. Unless you have a ton of time on your hands, and need ever little bit of cash you can get, don't even think about having a sale. If you do have a sale, don't put anything back in your house afterwards, but rather, take it all over to salvation army of the thrift store. Unless you have to have a sale, take anything you want to get rid of to the thrift store. My mom and I have a system that works pretty well for us. While I am going through things in my room, I will bring boxes of "get-rid-of" things to her. She will look through them and make a list of generally what is in there and then when she takes it over to the thrift store, she can get the donations taken off of taxes. This is much easier than trying to put together a yard sale.

You are looking at your room. Maybe you have lived there a few years, maybe most of your life, maybe all of it. Or perhaps only a short while. But still, there is a lot of stuff lurking in the highest shelf of your closet, or under your bed, or in your dresser drawers. What are you supposed to do with it? Well, you certainly can't keep all of it, but that doesn't mean that you have to get rid of everything right away. So, pick a place to start. Your closet. Your drawers. Perhaps under your bed. Your bookshelf. Pick a place and work on that place until you are satisfied. That doesn't mean that you won't come back and work on it more later, but work on it until for now, it is where you want it to be.

Let's say you are working on your closet. Clothes, old toys, shoes, and everything else have been shoved into it and you are not so sure you want to pull anything our for fear of everything falling out on top of you. Here is what I have done for my closet:

Clothes are your worst enemy. No matter how many times you get rid of them, they always come back. I don't have a walk in closet, so it is pain to put things in once I have them out. So, instead of taking all of my clothes out and laying them on my bed and putting the ones I want to keep back, I only take the ones I want to get rid of out.

Get a box or a bag you can put clothes in. Start from one end of your closet and work your way down. Ask these questions:

Does it fit?

Do I even like this?

Am I ever going to wear this again?

Do I really need another "night shirt" (you know the ones you like but are too big for you)?

Have I worn it in the last year? If not, am I going to wear it this year?

Asking yourself if you have worn it in the last year is probably the best way to determine if you should keep it or not. I don't take all of my clothes to school with me during the year and while I am at school 9 months of the year, many clothes don't get worn. I also have a lot of shirts that are too big for me. I used to wear medium size t-shirts, but now they are huge on me. I was able to cut out a lot of those since they did not fit, and there were also several dress shirts and such that were too small and not really my style anymore. While cleaning, you have to be very firm with yourself and not think to much about an item. It is best if you work fast. Do I need this? No. *throws into box* Next. Do I need this? Yes. *Put where it needs to go*

When you have gone through all of your clothes work on the shelfs or stuff on the floor next and keep the same fast pace. Don't think too much and try not to be attached to things. If it has been stuffed in the back of your closet for a few years, you probably don't need it, even if you do like it. On the other hand, if you really aren't certain you want to give it up yet, then keep it for the next round of cleaning. Working this way is less stressful. If your keep pile is bigger than your get rid of pile, you will have to be a little less attached the next time around.

To make things a little simpler, here are some things to keep in mind when working.

-Organization is pretty much impossible when you have a small space. Doing the whole piles thing doesn't really work for me when I don't have any space. Shove everything but what you are working on out of the way. Don't worry about that stuff. Focus only on that box or section of stuff you are working on.

-Anything you don't want needs to be in a box and out of the room. It will be easier to work when the stuff you are not keeping is out of the way. I usually use my bed for things I am keeping. That way I have to clean it no matter what since I have to go to sleep at some point.

I will probably write a bit more about this and actually have a list of tips you can follow another time. But I hope that this jumbled set of instructions can at least give you a place to start.

What You Need (and don't need) at College. The Reality.

Many of you are preparing to go to college, or are going to start thinking about it this year, and since I have moved in an out of a dorm three times, I have a pretty good idea of what works for me. Of course, this will be different for everyone depending on your situation. If you are not living in a dorm, this list may not be as helpful to you, but you might still be able to get some ideas for arranging and such.

To My Fans:

This blog has nothing to do with the title.

I promised to update more often, so here I go.

Today, it rained. All of Stillwater (and surrounding areas) rejoiced, even if it wasn't for very long, it was still rain. And let me tell you, we really needed it.

I made fried zucchini. How do you get it crunchy? Even if I practically burn them, I can never get them to be like chips. What is the secret?

I was thinking the other day about my future. It is starting to shape a little differently than I had originally had in mind. Actually, I'm still on the same track at the moment, but I can foresee it changing. I am getting a little nervous to be honest. About my life that is. I don't feel incapable, or that I am going to end up on the streets, but I have a feeling the next few years are going to be different than I had thought they would be.

Nick almost defiantly won't be done with school by the time I graduate. He got a late start and wasn't able to take summer classes like we had hoped. This throws a [few] wrenches into my plans. We have been waiting to get married until after we finish school. Me specifically, but then Nick got behind because he had to drop a class, and wasn't able to take as many as he would have needed to graduate in four semesters. So....what am I supposed to do? I know it will be easier for Nick to go to school while we are married than it would have been for me, but it is still a problem since we won't both be able to work for time without things being overly stressful, which was the point of waiting to get married in the first place. On the other hand, I don't think either of us are willing to wait until December '12 or January '13. There is just no way that I want to put us through that. We have been planning to get married since we started dating. I know in reality it hasn't been that long, but as we have had our minds set on us getting married in the summer of 2012, pushing it back 7-8 months would be murderous. It is torture just to wait as long as we have. I'm not just talking about physical stuff. I would be lying if I said that wasn't part of it, but really, we just want to be together. To come home to each other and to be a part of each other in every way. So, there is no way that I am waiting until after Nick officially graduates. I don't have a problem with him doing one more semester. He is very smart and works way faster than I do and doesn't procrastinate his homework at all in comparison to me. I know that things will be fine. We have a lot of family close by Tulsa (which is where we are basically planning to be) so if we ever needed something I know we would have help. I don't however, want to rely on anyone if we don't have to. There are a lot of things to think about, and a lot of worries, but God hasn't failed me yet and I know that getting through our first year of marriage will be ok somehow.

*Update: I talked to my mom about this and feel a little better about it.*

Stemming from these thoughts, I have been thinking about jobs. To be honest, I don't think I am talented at all in graphic design. I really love it, and am passionate about it, but I can't ever seem to make something that I am really proud of. Such things come by me very rarely. Also, I don't know a lot about web design I kind of skipped out on them when I transferred my "web design" classes. I was looking at graphic design jobs online and pretty much every single one was related to web. O_O This of course, scared me a little bit. How on earth am I supposed to get a graphic design job, when all of the graphic designers are becoming web designers???

My answer? Teaching.

Teaching has crossed my mind a few times in the past, but I never wanted to take the time to go get all the schooling I needed. By what if I taught high school? I always felt like someday I was going to do something with teens. I though I was supposed to be a youth pastor. I felt lead to be a speaker at youth conventions and stuff. But, what if I wasn't supposed to be a "pastor." What if I was just me? A minister disguised as a graphic design teacher?

I had the best teachers in high school. They were all fun, and really wanted to be involved in our lives. I still admire and look up to all of them. They were, and are my role models. And not just because of their relationship with God and such, but because of their relationship to me. I want to be that way for someone else.

I may not be able to make things as beautiful as others, but I know what goes behind it, I think I have a good eye for design (maybe that sounds haughty, but I'm really not trying to be), and I want to show others what I love and get them to love it too. I am passionate about design not just because I like it, but because my teachers and professors are passionate about it and have shown me how amazing it is to look at the world through the eyes of an artist.

Anyway, it is time for bed so more on that later as my mind develops it. I need to go to bed.

But first, a parting gift. Nick and I want to go here for our honeymoon:

The Week from Hell

So. Last week was probably the most stressful ever. In. My. Life. It was horrible. I barely ate or slept. I was constantly working on something. I exhausted myself to the point of having to skip a test and ask for a make-up exam and an extension on a paper. I have no idea how it got so bad. I imagine after a whole semester of stress it finally caught up to me.

One of the worst parts was that I felt like I was complaining all the time (which I was). I hate it when all people do is complain, but I feel like this entire semester that is all I have been able to do. I am going to try very hard to be more positive, and to be better about asking how others are doing, rather than talking about how terrible things are for me load-wise. I hope I didn't annoy any of you too much and I also hope that those of you that listened to my whining will be able to vent on me as I have been supported by you. So thanks for that and all of your prayers. I don't know how I would have made it without your support.

Stressssssss.....

I have been so exhausted this entire semester. I only get 3-4 hours of sleep every other night and it is causing my body and work to suffer. It is a pain and I feel like I complain about it all the time. I've been trying not to because I don't want to annoy the people around me, but it just makes me feel so much better after talking about it. I like my classes, but with this schedule (which I thought was going to be great) I just can't enjoy them like I want to....Well, I need to go to sleep. Say a prayer from me if you think about it- I really need stamina...or sleep.